My last post dealt with the reality of my children growing older and moving on with ‘their’ lives. Not my impression of what their life should be. And my observations and thoughts on the matter as a parent.
I sit today in Florida where I have come to help out my mother. For reasons that I needn’t go into for this posting.
In the book of life I noted that pages turn, chapters end and new ones begin. Today I find myself in a chapter called the ‘Sandwich Generation’. Ours is a generation where we are in the middle, sort of. We are still guiding our offspring and trying to help them find their way (yes a little less each year) but now we are slowly looking in the other direction to our parents trying to be helpful to them. As we age our reflexes slow down, amongst other things. So as our children become more independant our parents need us more.
I do not believe, as many in our culture do, that parents/elders have nothing to contribute anymore and should be cast aside. I lean more to cultures in other parts of the world where our parents/elders are thought of as learned people with experiences that we can learn from.
I do not believe in putting someone in a home strictly based on their age or whether they will be a ‘problem’ to me. Of course it is different if they need tubes and machines to go on, but just because they are aging? Nope. Is this easy, not on me or my mother.
So now that crick in my neck is from looking in two directions, simutaneously.
I am lucky that my wife, partner in this journey shares my opinion on much of this as it is easier to do these things with another.
Thoughts now turn to moving South to be closer to mom.
In the book of her life, her support system shrinks as she turns pages and gets older and that is where we come in.
Is the game plan set in stone yet? No but the beginnings of a plan are forming.
I am sure that we will work something out that will be beneficial to all, most of all my mother at this time. For me/us in the long run.
I close with this. As I look at my mother I see things in me that I got from her. Good bad or indifferent our books are intertwined.
More food for thought.